Firefly Lost in French Translation

Serenity: The Pilot

This article is part of a series of reviews analysing the translation work for the French dubbed Firefly series and movie(s). It is intended for anyone who would like to know a little better how a French audience would perceive Joss' wonderful creation.

Introduction to this series
Next review: The Train Job

General comments

On the whole the translation work on Serenity: the Pilot is average. There are a few jokes missing. The translators took a little too much liberties with the material and there are a few puzzling lines; lines that, on their own, make no sense to me. You'll be able to judge this for yourself in the detailed section below.

In the heat of the Serenity Valley battle, the anonymous French voices that punctuate the action are more loud and clear. In English, it is difficult to make out what the voices are saying. I definitely prefer the original version. The dubbed battle contains a few lines that are somewhat distracting and do not ring as true for me.

Badger's voice does not stand out. The voice actor has no particular accent. This is a more trivial difference, but worth mentioning for this important character.

The term "Reaver" was translated by "termite" which means, you guessed it, termite. I don't mind this choice even though a termite is not really scary.

The Chinese lines that were kept are:
- During the salvage operation, when Mal interrupts Zoe and Jayne chatting over the com.
- At the end of the sponge scene, when Inara invites Book to come in.

Translation score: 3/5
Chinese score: 2/14

Chosen Excerpts

The various excerpts analyses are formatted like this:
In red is the original line.
In blue is the French translation replacing the original lines.
In green is my English translation of the French lines.
In regular text is my personal comment on the translation work for the excerpt.

MAL
Huh? Look at that chiselled jaw, huh?
Hein? Il nous laissera sur terre, je te dis. Hein?
Huh? He won't take us from this world, I tell you. Huh?
A good banter that was removed. In French, he just repeats the previous sentence.

KAYLEE
Okay. Now I can't get down.
Et je redescends dans le noir.
And I climb down in the dark.
No comments.

ENSIGN
Should we deploy gunships, bring her in?
On déploie une escadrille pour les pulvériser?
Do we deploy a squadron to pulverize them?
A bit too drastic, don't you think?

MAL and WASH
- Cry, Baby, Cry.
- Make your mother sigh. Engaging the crybaby.
- On y est presque, Wash.
- Bienvenue à bord. Installez-vous. Attachez vos ceintures s'il vous plait.
- We're almost there, Wash.
- Welcome aboard. Settle down. Buckle up please.
Removing the "cry baby" reference makes it very hard to understand the decoy tactic.

JAYNE
Let's moon 'em.
Tu peux appuyer.
You can put your foot hard down. Or: You can floor it.
Lose its insulting connotation. In French, it sounds a bit silly, but I admit that "mooning" is very difficult to translate in so many words!

WASH and ZOE
- Joo ta ma ya ming. Zhu Yi. (Watch your back)
- We will.
- Zoe, t'as pas oublié? Parle-lui.
- Je le ferai.
- Zoe, you didn't forget? Talk to him.
- I will.
Here, the translators decided to reference the earlier scene about the vacation, apparently on their own initiative. It does not match very well Wash anxious face.

BADGER
Crime and politics, little girl: the situation is always fluid.
En crime comme en politique, la situation doit toujours être limpide.
In crime as in politic, the situation must always be limpid.
No comments.

MAL and BADGER
- Wheel never stops turnin', Badger.
- That only matter to the people on the rim.
- La roue continuera de tourner, Badger.
- C'est vrai pour ceux qui n'ont pas besoin de ramer.
- The wheel will keep turning, Badger.
- It's true for those who don't have to slog.
I must say that I've always been confused by this exchange between Mal and Badger. I think I know what they mean, but I'm not sure. Anyway, it doesn't make more sense in French, on the contrary.

MAL (about Patience having shot at him)
Well, yeah. She did a bit. Still...
Oui. Elle est un peu spéciale, c'est vrai.
Yes. She's a bit peculiar, that's true.
This is different but as funny as the original, if not more.

MAL (before leaving Persephone)
This all we got?
C'est bon? Ça y est?
It's good? That's it?
In French, the insult is almost absent in words, but, of course, Mal's face speaks volume.

MAL
Everybody's makin' a fuss.
Ça arrive à tout le monde de s'énerver.
Everybody lose their temper sometimes.
Again, a joke replaced by another one, not necessarily worse.

MAL
There's plenty of planets won't even let you dock without a decent Companion on board.
Beaucoup de passagers exigent une dame de compagnie à bord.
Many passengers demand a Companion on board.
This does not do a good job stating that a Companion is a highly respectable occupation and it establishes that Inara services passengers, which, I'm sure you'll agree, is highly improbable.

INARA
Just the one. I think I'm slipping.
Un seul. J'aurais dû dire oui.
Only one. I should have said yes.
This is said off-screen so it could have easily been more faithful to the original line. The words are certainly stronger in French, but they do agree with Mal's face. This is an interesting choice and I'm not sure I prefer one over the other.

INARA
Believe me, I've called him worse.
Mais on m'a dit encore pire que ça.
But I've been called even worse than that.
It's disappointing that Inara's character was transformed in this line from a strong woman to a victim.

MAL (seeing Dobson pointing his gun in his general direction)
Son of a bitch!
Ah! Je l'avais oublié lui.
Ah! I forgot this one.
This is a somewhat inappropriate to the situation, although this character is indeed unassuming and can warrant this line.

MAL (when Dobson says that everyone is culpable)
That has an effect on the landscape.
Il faut tous nous arrêter.
You have to arrest us all.
No comments.

JAYNE
Pain is scary.
La peur, c'est douloureux.
Fear is painful.
I'm sorry, but it doesn't work. The question stayed the same, so this response makes no sense.

MAL
Getting awful crowded in my sky.
La vermine, ça n'en a jamais assez.
The vermin never has enough.
It loses some poetry and the original line can be applied to the entire episode. It's a very decent summary of the series, contrary to this translation.

INARA (to Simon) and MAL
- You're lost in the woods. We all are. Even the captain. The only difference is, he likes it that way.
- No the difference is, the woods are the only place I can see a clear path.
- Vous avez perdu votre sang-froid. Comme nous tous. Même le commandant. La seule différence, c'est que, lui, il aime ça.
- Non. La seule différence, c'est que sur ce vaisseau, c'est moi qui commande.
- You lost your cool. Like all of us. Even the captain. The only difference is that he likes it.
- No. The only difference is that, on this ship, I'm the one giving the orders.
Again, less poetry. This is definitely more blunt in French.

PATIENCE (about the stolen Alliance marked goods)
I like that you're up front about it.
Et puis, c'est bien fait pour eux.
Furthermore, it serves them right.
No comments.

MAL
I want Patience thinking they're in place.
Ils ne doivent pas quitter leur place.
They must not leave their position.
What?

MAL
Everyone always does. That's what makes us special.
C'est la loi du genre. On verra si on la respecte.
It's the way it is. We'll see if we follow it.
It's less heroic, to say the least.

MAL
Walkin' and talkin'.
Tu vois, j'ai grandi.
You see, I grew up.
Ah! I much prefer the French line.

ZOE
Armor's dented.
Une chemise toute neuve.
An all new shirt.
I didn't know Zoe cared about clothing. Didn't she ask for Wash to tear her clothes off later? Well, in French, maybe not.

WASH
How would you feel about pullin' a Crazy Ivan?
Ça te dit de tenter un grand renversement?
Are you up to a great reversal?
That's right, no reference to our beloved Ivan in this episode.

KAYLEE
That's my girl... That's my good girl.
On les a bien eus, hein? On a bien joué le coup.
We owned them, huh? We played it well.
It's a good performance from Jewel, so her love for the ship still transpires, but to a lesser degree.

ZOE
I need this man to tear all my clothes off.
Je voudrais passer un moment seul avec lui.
I would like to be alone with him, for a while.
Yep. Less effective humour.

SIMON
Well, you're a dummy.
Tu me connais mal.
You don't know me very well.
I find this less brotherly. If you're observant, you will notice the word "mal", which has kept its meaning and its spelling from Latin to French!

MAL
I had a good day.
J'ai beaucoup travaillé.
I worked a lot.
I don't see the relevance of this phrase here.

That's it. Thanks for reading!

Michel

Next review: The Train Job